how an Artist's Way accountability group enriched my friendships
it's the best thing i've done in a while, here's how you can do it too.
Eight weeks ago, I noticed my copy of the Artist’s Way gathering dust in my bookcase.
I had just gotten out of a relationship, just quit a job and moved back in with my parents.
You know those times in your life where it feels like there’s nothing really to grasp on to? It’s like you’re trying to find a door to open and instead, you’re standing in a concrete foundation with no walls whatsoever?
That’s what it felt like for me during this time.
But I wanted some sort of thing to grasp onto, and so, The Artist’s Way kept bubbling up to the surface. I have never quite finished the 10-week creativity workbook, despite having ownership of the book for over 4 years, and trying out the workbook over 3 times. (I say over 3, because there were a few ‘half’ tries, if you will.)
So, I realized I needed an accountability partner(s). I took to Instagram and put out a post asking if anyone wanted to do it with me.
The responses?
Few. Very few.
I got a total of two responses — they happened to be two good friends of mine.
At first, I was slightly embarrassed that nobody wanted to join my little club.
Though, I realized these are two incredible people who 1) take things seriously (and will be great at accountability) and 2) have smart, interesting and unique perspectives.
I sent out a text noting the plan, and outlining why I wanted this group and what I wanted to get out of it. I asked what drew them to the group too.
We decided to re-group every Wednesday and provide reflections of the week’s readings and how our Morning Pages and Artist’s Dates went.
Honestly, the last 8 weeks (we have 2 weeks left) have been lovely, and have created this sense of abundance in my life that has done more than open a door, but build a community.
I expected that I would unlock more creativity.
I not only unlocked creativity, but dived deeper into these relationships, learning my friends fears, desires, loves, and struggles.
I expected to write a few poems.
I did write some poetry, and, I grew more enriching and fulfilling friendships.
I expected to learn about myself.
I learned a ton. Plus, I created a sturdy support system for my art.
Why Structure Can Be So Important
Friendships often don’t have specified structure. We may go for coffee, we talk about our lives, careers, love lives… and, sure, sometimes we talk about our creativity or soul’s callings, but it’s difficult to bring up this conversation on your 30 minute phone call on your way home from work.
By creating structure, we allowed vulnerability in.
By setting a specified schedule, date and time, and opportunity to share creative things we noticed or thought, or read that week, it was a way to connect in another capacity. The group was not a place to talk about anything else but art and the book — and as a result it opened up new conversations, new perspectives and allowed more vulnerability into our relationships.
I learned more about my friends joys, desires, and goals.
I learned more about how they saw the world.
I learned about what draws their attention, what makes them laugh, what is silly to them.
It’s as Priya Parker states in The Art of Gathering, “Gatherings crackle and flourish when real thought goes into them, when (often invisible) structure is baked into them," and "Hosting is not democratic, just like design isn't. Structure helps good parties, like restrictions help good design."
To have successful gatherings and connection, we need structure baked in.
We need meaning. We need intention. We need deliberate action.
Now, I’ll have to ask my friends, but the deliberate action helped us bond over creativity and bond over this shared experience.
I couldn’t recommend this enough.
A Few Tips On How To Get Started
Set the Stage.
How do you envision it going? What do others think? Establish a timeline, and establish vibes/expectations. This is what you make it!
This is important because it sets the table for what is to come. My main focus was expansion. This was an experience for each one of us — together. My focus was ensuring we were on our own creative journeys, alongside one another.
It is very important to set due dates for each weekly reflection as it establishes the accountability metric.
the accountability metric
Provide Some Ideas on How to Stay Engaged and Accountable
In the first week, I provided a poem template to help people get their feet wet. For those that are very new to artistic pursuits, it might be a good way to get going.
A friend of mine had the idea of painting her Morning Pages journal so she’d be more apt to reach for it every morning. This is something we all did in some capacity to keep engaged.
Get Silly with It!
Name your group! We’re the creative cats. We were collegiate athletes so naming and buying into something has us all excited and driven towards teamwork. But it shows that when we develop a team based approach, guards come down and egos go out the window.
We established early that we weren’t there for egos. We were there to enjoy, be silly, and gas each other up, no matter if our art was “shit” or not. **spoiler alert** no art is shit, it’s just art, baby.
When All Else Fails, NOTICE.
Some days, you may miss your morning pages. You’ll definitely feel when you do. But the best thing to do is notice the simple things. The artwork at your local cafe? The nature around you? The textile on your yoga mat? There is art everywhere and the second you let go of perfection, the more fun this becomes.
Plan at Least Two Facetimes.
I wish we could have had more! But we planned a FaceTime about midway through the experience and it was so fulfilling. We plan on having a graduation session as well.
If you can plan a FaceTime every week — go for it! My friends were all in different time zones so this was difficult to do.
You honestly can’t go wrong. Stick with it, stay expansive, and HAVE FUN.
If you’re feeling a bit resistance in getting started, read this:
Xo.
In pursuit,
T