i relate to this baby flamingo, you might too.
& why I'm never watching nature documentaries again
I was watching a nature documentary the other night.
Honestly, I watch a lot of them… penguins, bears, butterflies.
I have found I am too sensitive for big dramas and true crime documentaries. I find true crime interesting, but if I watch anything too exciting at night, I will fixate and be awake until 3 am. So, I find substitutions. And when I do watch T.V., you’ll likely find me watching British Bake Off or miscellaneous nature documentaries — anything soft, anything soothing.
So — I put on a flamingo documentary to ease my way towards slumber.
Light.
Cute.
Sweet.
Nope. The flamingo documentary did not ease my way towards anything — except anxiety.
Allow me to set the scene: The documentary showed the families of flamingos — moms, dads, and babies — seemingly lovely… at first. The baby flamingos are teeny-tiny, and they’re navigating the world for the first time. The water in this location (I didn’t pay enough attention to the specifics) is extremely salty, more so than any tides you may go into.
As I watched, I found that some baby flamingos are more active than others. Some move around, in and out of the shallow water, remaining mostly on land. Others find themselves entrenched in the water and more stagnant. They go in and out some, but majority of the time, go deeper in the water. As a result, when they do come out, the salt hardens, and they get these huge salty-shackles on their legs.
The salty-shackles make them unable to move as fast; their little bodies are too weak to overcome the weight of the salt. This is terrible, terrible news for baby flamingos. And terrible, terrible news for a highly empathetic woman just trying to settle in for the night.
Now, Momma Flamingos are NOT helicopter parents. Quite the opposite. They pretty much say: “You’re on your own kid.” And so, baby flamingos are extremely independent from the very beginning.
As a result, when a predator comes, the Momma Flamingos do not go and save their babies. They focus on getting themselves to safety.
Selfish bastards.
So — yes — this is where the light, cute, sweet nature documentary gets extremely stressful and becomes not at all a comforting way to end my evening…
The salty-shackled-baby-flamingos have no hope of getting away.
The rest of the flock rushes to safety, leaving the salty-shackled baby with no hope for survival.
Now, does the documentary show the baby’s demise?
No. Thank goodness.
But, one can make an informed speculation.
(I’m never watching a nature documentary again.)
As you might guess, my night was not relaxing after consuming this devastating piece of non-fiction. Ultimately, I found myself fixating on this baby flamingo and how I was just like her.
How?
Well, like her, I too was shackled by my own stagnation. I too, stayed in an environment that didn’t serve me, and, the longer I stayed, the more trapped I became. I, like her, became prey for a selfish narcissist. (*making an assumption here that the predator was also a selfish narcissist, and not just hungry.*)
I was in a job that didn’t serve me, one that was under my potential. I was surrounded by individuals who took advantage of my work, who did not see the potential in me, but only the work I produced. I took one look at the baby flamingo and realized I’d been her.
But, I was able to break free. I found the trust in myself to listen to the inner voice saying: ‘you. must. leave.’ I was able to shed my (invisible) shackles. Though, it took me some time. It took me getting to my lowest low; it took years of ‘knowing’ but no action; it took taking a risk and falling down further, to eventually find my way back up.
Most of the time, the situations we get ourselves into are made to teach us.
Most of the time, we are able to iterate, grow, and change to find new avenues.
Most of the time, the shackles that we create are for a reason, to learn to use our voice, to learn to assert ourselves, to learn to take action.
My initial reaction to the flamingo mom is that she is a selfish b*tch for not helping her kid. But, as humans… isn’t it kind of similar? Sure, we have more support. We have systems that may help us, medications, family, friends, etc.
But… think about that negative mindset you may have been in.
Who gets you out of it?
You do. Only we can save ourselves. It’s all up to the individual.
Let me be clear here: this is not to say we can abandon our babies. This is not to say it’s ‘us’ against the world. This is not to say we can forgo asking for help or forgo taking medications that help us.
This is to say: when we are pushed up against a wall, we can either decide to continue to go down or make a decision to go up. And nobody can make that decision for us, but us.
Luckily, we are human beings, we are not salty-shackled-baby-flamingos, vulnerable to the calloused natural world. We can decide, we can take the salty-shackles off and begin again.
We can always begin again.
in pursuit,
T